I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize