Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize