Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize