porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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