you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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