Wow word travels fast.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?