Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.