glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
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There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.