Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.

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  (815): I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on. http://tfl.nu/mukq
  Replies (65) Good night (2905) Bad night (712)
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  (516): View more from New York

  ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront

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  (516): ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront http://tfl.nu/ih22
  Replies (46) Good night (1181) Bad night (4611)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.

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  (503): I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks. http://tfl.nu/i5e8
  Replies (23) Good night (1117) Bad night (5674)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

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  (484): I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting. http://tfl.nu/ejol
  Replies (15) Good night (5938) Bad night (1531)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?

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  (908): You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you? http://tfl.nu/3hav
  Replies (11) Good night (2408) Bad night (1568)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen

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  (814): we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen http://tfl.nu/nfcd
  Replies (9) Good night (2336) Bad night (1015)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.

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  (208): Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out. http://tfl.nu/579a
  Replies (3) Good night (2324) Bad night (884)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.

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  (716): We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures. http://tfl.nu/5q46
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (449)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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  (719): Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great http://tfl.nu/tj20
  Replies (4) Good night (1400) Bad night (595)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.

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  (610): I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with. http://tfl.nu/uzcd
  Replies (7) Good night (1381) Bad night (539)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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  (616): i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed. (1-616): You sure know how to make a day worth living. http://tfl.nu/maop
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (365)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.

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  (573): I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs. http://tfl.nu/ty2k
  Replies (8) Good night (716) Bad night (342)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.

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  (816): I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident. http://tfl.nu/95be
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (301)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.

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  (908): put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT. http://tfl.nu/yda3
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (272)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?

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  (203): What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high? http://tfl.nu/zas2
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (186)

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