If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
