Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
