I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
