k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dick very happy bro
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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