As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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