We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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