I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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