i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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