Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
