Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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