oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
