sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
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who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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