By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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