Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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