I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
