i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
