Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So vagazzling was a success
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
