Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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