Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
