just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
