My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
