I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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