between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
