I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
did you just send me my own nude
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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