just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
