If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
