Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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