So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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