thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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