He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
