i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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