I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
