I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need a burrito and a hug.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
