Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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