does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
