somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
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Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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