I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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