Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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