So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
