So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
