he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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