we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
