So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize