just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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