called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
