Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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