Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
