I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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