were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
