Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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