I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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