i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
