i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
