you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
